My ultimate competition: what programming language, compiler, optimizer and what-not can give me the smolest (and therefore cutest) /bin/false.

Some requirements:

• it should always exit with non-zero code (preferably 1)
• it shouldn't print anything
• it should be smol
• it should be a binary, not a script, and preferably static

Some would say this is a flawed approach to cute, but I have heard since like forever that tall men are naturally drawn to short women yadda yadda.

I just like my /bin/false smol, so there's that.

The results are not ready anyhow at all, though I'm kinda impressed by Crystal so far.

If you have better ideas how to do things, or you think that I've been unjust to one of the contestants, please channel your concerns to me over whichever way you fancy, be it messaging Michcioperz on freenode, or messaging @[email protected] on the fediverse, or emailing [email protected]